“Basic Badness” is out now!

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It’s finally here! Thanks to Google Docs, I have completed my very first collection of poetry: “Basic Badness”. I have been wanting to do a collection, but I didn’t have the time nor the money to self-publish – until I decided a few days ago to try it out on Google Docs. After a few days of editing, collecting, and formatting, I am happy to say that “Basic Badness” is now available exclusively through yours truly for $5 USD.

The collection features poems that have been published on this blog, including the most recent one “It’s Not My Fault”, as well as poems that have not been published on this or any blog. At the moment, the collection is available exclusively as a PDF.

To order, please use PayPal. My e-mail address, which you will need for the transaction, is alexsarmiento@hotmail.com. Within 24 hours of receiving your order, I will e-mail you a digital copy of “Basic Badness” (as an attachment), along with a letter of thanks. You may choose to contribute anonymously if you so wish.

If you are outside the United States of America, you may order with your local currency if you wish. They will be converted to US dollars. Here are some exchange rates (as of Sunday, the 5th of June, 2016). You may have to round to the nearest full amount.

Rates courtesy of XE.com. The numbers that follow are how much $5 USD is worth in that particular currency:

  • Australian dollar – 6.82 AUD (You may contribute 7 Australian dollars.)
  • Brazilian real – 17.64 BRL (You may contribute 18 Brazilian reais.)
  • British pound sterling – 3.47 GBP (You may contribute 3 or 4 pounds sterling.)
  • Canadian dollar – 6.48 CAD (You may contribute 6 or 7 Canadian dollars.)
  • Euro – 4.40 EUR (You may contribute either 4 or 5 euros.)
  • Indian rupee – 334.17 INR (You may contribute 300 or 400 rupees.)
  • Japanese yen – 533.84 JPY (You may contribute 500 or 600 yen.)
  • South African rand – 75.58 ZAF (You may contribute 75 or 76 rand.)
  • Swedish krona – 40.74 SEK (You may contribute 41 kronor.)
  • Swiss franc – 4.88 CHF (You may contribute 5 Swiss francs.)

I hope that you have fun reading my first collection of poetry. It is my hope that future collections will follow, as well as my first novel. Thank you for your support!

UPDATE (14th June 2016)

I understand that some people who wish to purchase “Basic Badness” do not have or do not even want a PayPal account. Unfortunately, PayPal is the easiest way for me to access my payments at this time. If you still would like to purchase it, you can use Google Wallet.

Here’s how it works: My Gmail address is alexdssf@gmail.com. If you do have a Gmail address, you automatically have access to Google Wallet and can use a linked credit card, debit card, and/or bank account to pay for your copy. I will of course respond to your payment notification within 24 hours.

If you still don’t have any of the above (PayPal or Gmail), I unfortunately cannot sell you a copy at this time.

It’s Not My Fault

It’s not my fault
It’s not my fault
It’s not my fault
It’s not my fault
It’s not my fault
It’s not my fault
It’s not my fault
It’s not my fault
It’s not my fault
It’s not my fault

It’s not my fault
It’s not my fault
It’s not my fault
It’s not my fault
It’s not my fault
It’s not my fault
It’s not my fault
It’s not my fault
It’s not my fault
It’s not my fault

It’s not my fault
It’s not my fault
It’s not my fault
It’s not my fault
It’s not my fault
It’s not my fault
It’s not my fault
It’s not my fault
It’s not my fault
It’s not my fault

It’s not my fault

It’s not my fault

It’s not my fault

It’s not my fault…

I don’t know how many times I have to say it.

Telemarketing

The number you have dialed

Cannot be reached at this time

Or any time

Ever again

Because he is

Sick and tired of

People like you

Calling him all the time

While he could be anticipating

A phone call from a potential employer

Or potential lover

His potential is being wasted

Because you are wasting his time

With these stupid calls about

Credit reports

Switching phone services

Ten-hour surveys

He doesn’t give a shit about

1 for least likely – 5 for most likely

When a job is on the line

When even a blowjob is on the line!

You’re lucky you even have a job

When many in this economy can’t even

Afford a dye job!

Don’t call this number again!

Have a nice day.

The Other Side of the Hills

They look like hills
Lush and emerald in the winter
Light and feasted in the spring
Harsh and nude in the summer and fall
Yes, they look like hills
But they are in fact barriers
Between me and life

My family has robbed me of 12 years
Which I could have spent
Creating my future
And not enduring theirs
They ripped off my roots
They whisked off my wings
And transformed me into a trailer
To drag along at their command
No clear reason given
Not then, not now, not ever

In those 12 years
I could have had a job
Friends, lovers, acquaintances, experiences
A nice apartment in the Mission
Time to volunteer
Time to write
Time to walk barefoot along Ocean Beach
Time to live
Time – just time

Now I’m stuck on the other side of the hills
Where a serenade becomes a tirade
Where a symphony morphs into a cacophony
And where an encore is in fact “NO MORE”
And where the most common job is
Prostituting oneself for the serenades
For the symphonies
For the encores
Built on violated land for a relative pittance

My heart howls in horror
Every waking hour
That I’m not on the other side of those hills
Where despite the rise in prices
More opportunities are in store
Medical, social, spiritual, personal
Though some may leave in droves
I long to be back home

I fear that another move is beckoning
Far from these hills
But still on the other side
I cry
I sigh
I die.

The Morning of Her Passing

It’s raining because
The Duchess of Alba died.
The sky is crying.

(written on 21 November 2014, the day after the passing of MarĂ­a del Rosario Cayetana Fitz-James Stuart y de Silva, the 18th Duchess of Alba and international celebrity/socialite)