Despicable

(to the tune of “Invisible” by Clay Aiken)

 

Who you fucking tonight?

I wish I had never met you at all

Tired of all your down-low

Who’s sucking your dick?

Why did I let you into my life?

Russian roulette you’re playing – who’ll come out alive?

 

CHORUS:

You’re fucking despicable

Screwing around right behind my back

It’s gonna be difficult

But your lies end tonight

It’s so fucking pitiful

The lengths you go just to tap some ass

Don’t you know you could get crabs?

You’re fucking despicable

(God… I’m so fucking mad!)

 

So, you’re married with kids

You’re eating her out, and then come for this

I can’t take it no more

I am not your whore

What compelled you to mess with our minds?

Does she even know that she is risking her life?

 

(CHORUS)

 

Just get out

You never really loved me

Motherfucker, get out

Don’t you even call me (DON’T YOU CALL ME!)

I’ll do better without you

So can your wife and kids too.

 

(CHORUS)

 

You’re fucking despicable… (REPEAT AD NAUSEUM)

 

NOTE: I hadn’t even heard of Clay Aiken’s “Invisible” for many years, and I was one of the 600,000+ people who bought Clay Aiken’s debut album back in 2003. I knew that the song had insipid lyrics and was certainly not befitting a singer like Clay, even making it onto a VH1 show chronicling “Awesomely Bad Songs”. Mercifully Clay has done better material over the years, from Broadway to standards. It wasn’t until last night’s American Idol results show that I heard “Invisible” for the first time in ages. They played it over a montage of Clay’s Idol journey (he was one of the guest performers). The original song is about a man who feels invisible from the one that he loves from afar. My version, “Despicable”, is about a man who finds out that his lover is married with kids, and he is none too pleased. After downloading and listening to “Invisible” on my iPod, I came up with the entire song within 30 minutes.

2ND NOTE: This is the first non-poem on this site.